Vigorous Anonymity

Judgment At The Grocery Store

Posted on: September 15, 2009

We are in the process of buying a new car.  I’m pretty excited about this one – I’ve bought a lot of cars because that’s all we could get, and while we’re still on a budget, we think we’ll be able to do a little comparison shopping this weekend and get something we actually like.  Very cool.

Jackass was looking around through our Important Papers last night and he asked me where the title was to the car we’re planning to trade in.  And I, of course, told him it’s in there with the Important Papers (comma asshole).  He looked again, and then eventually brought me the drawer housing all the Important Papers, which after I carefully combed through it did in fact NOT contain the title to that car, thus rendering me a liar!

So this morning, I called the bank through which that car was originally financed and asked them what the hell…?

This is where it gets confusing.

Two years ago, we refinanced our mortgage (yes we were one of those people responsible for the crumble of our economy), and part of the deal was that we would be required to mortgage the house up to the maximum, and pay off every other outstanding debt we had.  It sounded grand at the time!  We would only be paying the mortgage, we could do that!  And then the mortgage adjusted, and well that’s another story, never mind.

Anyway…one of the outstanding debts was the car loan for that car.  The way this works is the mortgage bank actually contacts the car bank and ask for the pay-off figure, and they then send a check directly out of the proceeds of the mortgage to the bank, thus closing that account.  That should have triggered a title being sent to us, but it didn’t.

Because the mortgage bank didn’t send them enough money.  They were $400 +/- short and so the car company paid up the loan as far as it would go, and now it’s just sitting there waiting to send us a bill at some future point when that last final month comes due.  Awesome right?

I never received a bill for it.  I never received confirmation or any correspondence saying, “Hey dopes, we have all this money but it’s NOT ENOUGH!”  And with all the other nonsense going on in my life, I completely forgot about it.

So today, they tell me the balance and I’m all OK I’ll pay! and they say, OK send us a check, and in TWO MONTHS we’ll send you the title.

Two months??  We’re buying this car in 2 DAYS!  Seriously, dudes?

I ask them how about if I put it on a credit card.  “Oh you can do that,” says Ursula the customer service rep (yes, that’s her real name).  “That will bring the time down to 45 days before we can send you the title.”


So I explain my predicament and she informs me if I Western Union her the money today, and they receive it immediately (which they should) she can get it in the mail to me Monday.  OK.  Monday I can live with.  Monday works.

Now, I don’t know about where you live, but around here, the only place to do a Western Union is the grocery store.  I have some experience with this, as I have had to send Western Unions to keep things from being taken away from me, such as houses, credit cards, cars…things like that.  And I hate, with every ounce of my being, sending Western Unions.

This is the scenario, as it happened today.  I had to go to the Courtesy Counter at the grocery store, where the Important Clerk works.  You know the one, she makes a little bit more than the Less Important Clerks who do the real work of actually checking out your groceries and putting them in bags, and so Important Clerk feels like she’s…well…important.  And she doesn’t like doing Western Unions.  Trust me on this.

She looks me up and down and determines my worth.  I was dressed nicely, in my work clothes, because I was on my lunchhour, but still, Important Clerk in her green smock judged me and found me lacking.

I told her I needed to do a Western Union Quick Collect, at which point she sighed audibly and held out her hand for the form and the cash.   She spoke not a single word to me and she frowned violently the entire time.

She finally handed me back the paperwork and again, not a word.  I very cheerfully and loudly said “Thanks!  Have a great day!”

And then I felt the need to take a shower.  I suppose anyone doing one of those Western Unions is doing it because they didn’t pay some bill and now it’s critical.  I get it.  But bitch you work in a grocery store!  Don’t judge me.


3 Responses to "Judgment At The Grocery Store"

Why would Western Union be faster than credit card? What is this, 1991? That seems odd to me. Credit cards are just as immediate.

I’m glad it worked and you’re getting the title! Good luck car shopping!


ahahhahahahhaa. I was going to commiserate, but then I read Kristabella’s comment and now I”m laughing too hard.

Plus, I’m going to echo it. Get your ass to the dentist. 😉

I usually end up sending the electric bill by WU. I simply have a blockage on paying that bill. Every three months the meter man will show up to cut it off, I’ll sic the dogs on him and run to the grocery to pay it.

and I’m totally jealous of the new car. (but glad for you)

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  • None
  • TheQueen: Yeah, perhaps next year suggest you ALL just skip the adult gifts and focus on the little ones. I'm sure you won't miss it!
  • kristabella: Yay! You're back!
  • Shania Ring: Out of all of that, the only thing in my head is 20?!? Twenty? I remember a little boy in middle school when I first started reading you. Are you SURE
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