Vigorous Anonymity

Jersey Girl Goes To Jersey Boys

Posted on: September 24, 2009

What an interesting evening.

Jackass and I left directly from work, and for the first time ever, we took the ferry from Weehawken to Manhattan.  Everyone always raves about them, but we’ve never done it, and it’s really silly not to.  Still, we got stuck in traffic getting to the ferry, but the ride across the Hudson is delightful and picturesque and everyone should do it.  One of the things it is not however, is cheap.  It costs just as much as driving in and parking, but it’s less filling.  Or tastes great.  Either way, it’s a win.

While standing in line to buy our ferry tickets, a 40ish year old man got in line behind me, and started chewing some sweet, sickening smelling chewing wad like a cow chews its cud.  It was absolutely disgusting on so many sensory levels:  it smelled horrible, it looked nasty and the sound was making me nauseous.  If he’d been 15 I’d have given him the benefit of the doubt, but come on, seriously?  Oral fixation, much?

After the ferry ride, we hopped on a free shuttle bus to mid-town as if we were commuters and knew what we were doing.  We were awesome.

Guess who sat in the aisle across from us.  Go ‘head.  Yup, Gumby.  And you know how I knew it was him.  By the enormous snapping bubble he blew with his disgusting pink bubblegum cud-wad.  I had to restrain Jackass, who was just itching to punch him in the face everytime he blew a bubble.

We were meeting some friends at a restaurant near the theater, which happened to be right next door to The David Letterman Show.  I’m not kidding, it’s so right next door I almost walked into the theater instead of the restaurant.  People were milling about outside taking their pictures with the marquis in the background like tourists.  I refrained.  I wish I hadn’t.  By the way, Angelo’s in mid-town NY?  Best.Fettucine.Carbonara.Ever.

So far, it’s a nice evening right?

We got to the theater – where, sidebar, we knew one of the performers and the costumer is one of Jackass’ best friend’s son.  We found our seats…middle section, 20 rows back, middle of the aisle!  AWESOME!  We sat down.  There was a man two rows in front of me who was kind of tall, and of course, his head was smack in the middle of the stage for me, but I could crane around him and it was ok.  Then the occupants of the two seats directly in front of us showed up.

He was 6’6″.  Had to be.  And equally as broad.  I have never seen so big a man.  His head took up the entire right side of the stage (KJ, if the set design was the same as when you saw it, I had no view of the stairs that the actors kept going up and down.)  So coupled with the guy two rows in front whose head blocked the center of the stage, and the guy in front of us who blocked the entire right, I couldn’t see shit.  In fact, at the end of the show, during the standing ovation, some actor let out an amazing note and I have no idea who it was cause I couldn’t see anything.  Just the red checked shirt of the guy in front of me.

Seated directly to my left, however, was a friendly looking man, who I assumed was with the people to HIS left.  He was not.  As it turned out, he was alone.  We had a lovely chat.  He’s from Canada – Edmonton, Alberta to be exact, and it was his first visit to NY, and he’d been to see Wicked, In The Heights, and two others I can’t remember, and Jersey Boys was his fifth play in 5 days.  His partner couldn’t make the trip so he was alone.

We talked a little about health care (it’s what I do) and about the theater, and about Canada and about the fact that he’s a barrister and I work for a lawyer, and 20 minutes into it, I thought, this is silly, and I held out my hand and introduced myself.

“So, hi!  My name is Candy!”




A timid, “Seriously?”  And his eyes filled with a look I didn’t recognize.  I still don’t know what it was…a cross between incredulity and fear I guess.

“Yes, seriously,” I laughed.

He hesitantly took my hand, shook it and said, “Rod.”

“Nice to meet you, Rod from Alberta,” I said.  And then the lights went down and the show started and that was that.

At intermission, I leaned over to Rod from Alberta, and asked him what he thought of the show.  “Super!” he said.  And then he excused himself to go do whatever you do in the lobby of a NY theater.

We didn’t leave, we just stayed put…the crush is unbearable at those things and I for once didn’t have to pee.  But I was sitting forward in my seat because I knew Rod from Alberta would be back and I’d have to stand to let him through.

And then the lights lowered for Act II.  And 15 minutes went by, and then 30, and then I realized…


I’m trying not to take this personally.  Trying and failing.  Rod from Alberta, what did I dooooo???

p.s.  Show was awesome, even with understudies..  I highly recommend.


6 Responses to "Jersey Girl Goes To Jersey Boys"

Wonder if he misunderstood you? But what could he have ‘heard’?


Sounds like a nice evening though.

Look at you, being all New Yorkish. If my oldest girl decides to leave LA and come to NY, you’ll have to give her tips.

As far as Canananadianian Rod, his loss!

It’s still playing in Chicago. Maybe I’ll catch it one of these days. On your recommendation, of course. 😉

My guess is that he was so violently attracted to you that he was unable to control himself and had to leave.

He’s a canook there not known for there social skills, living up in the great white north and all. Probably hadn’t seen a woman let alone one of your caliber before.

Glad to hear you and your jackass had a great time 🙂

Glad you enjoyed the show, even with understudies. It’s seriously one of my favorites!

Yeah, maybe Rod misunderstood you? That is weird. I mean, you were having a conversation. What is so wrong about telling him your name? Like you were going to look him up in Alberta?

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  • None
  • TheQueen: Yeah, perhaps next year suggest you ALL just skip the adult gifts and focus on the little ones. I'm sure you won't miss it!
  • kristabella: Yay! You're back!
  • Shania Ring: Out of all of that, the only thing in my head is 20?!? Twenty? I remember a little boy in middle school when I first started reading you. Are you SURE
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