Vigorous Anonymity

Archive for January 2011

A week ago tomorrow, Jackass was leaving to go to work (in the dark) and overnight the driveway had turned into a solid sheet of ice.  I got up and was secretly watching his progress down the driveway from the safety of my bedroom window, and I watched him as he slowly salted his way, step by step.

So I was there to witness when his feet went out from under him, and he landed on his back on the driveway.  Then, the man-screaming began.  I’ve spoken about the man-screaming before, but I don’t know where, and I’m not looking for it.  It was a similar situation though.  Jackass had been pulled by the dog in a downpour and lost his footing.  He tore a rotator cuff that time.

This time, 2 broken ribs.  He broke those ribs once before – on the morning we were leaving to have the aforementioned rotator cuff surgically repaired.  I guess they’re kinda flimsy now that they’ve been previously abused.

Long story short (heh, as if), he’s been sitting on his ass in his barkolounger for a week, popping percocet like cough drops and being waited on hand and foot.

In a drug-induced haze, last night he decided he felt well enough to return to work.  What is it about men who don’t realize that when you’re stoned on painkillers, your ability to make decisions is altered?  Jackasses.

No amount of belittling could talk him out of his decision, so off he went this morning at 6:15 (in the semi-dark and in a small snow storm).  He called me at 8:01.  And said only four words before hanging up.  Oh but they were such sweet words.

“This was a mistake.”




  • None
  • TheQueen: Yeah, perhaps next year suggest you ALL just skip the adult gifts and focus on the little ones. I'm sure you won't miss it!
  • kristabella: Yay! You're back!
  • Shania Ring: Out of all of that, the only thing in my head is 20?!? Twenty? I remember a little boy in middle school when I first started reading you. Are you SURE