Vigorous Anonymity

Archive for December 2012

2PM – Expected snowstorm begins.

4PM – I leave work early, since my boss is off for the day.  In my defense, I emailed him to say I was doing so.  He did not reply in a timely enough fashion to alter my plans, so I left.

7:30PM – I arrived home, having managed to stretch a 30 minute ride into a 210 minute ride.  That’s talent, people.

7:30 – 7:40 PM – I sat on the toilet and cried.  It just came out in great hulking sobs as the anxiety of the 3 1/2 hour ride home and the many near death experiences washed over me.  (And could someone please explain why men in huge pick up trucks think it’s ok to be assholes on the roads?)

7:40 – 7:50 PM – Listened to Morris’ tale of snow woe, as he had been forced to abandon his car about 5 blocks from our house and walk home.  However, before he got out of his car, he watched a 3-car accident occur (with the final destruction being wreaked by a guy in a huge pick up truck).

7:50 – 9:00 PM – Watched a really bad movie, the name of which escapes me.  Morris expressed displeasure over how oily everyone was.  If that helps to narrow down what movie it was.

9:00 – 12:00PM – Freaked the fuck out over Rakeman (the mentally challenged man across the street) who used a snowblower for 3 hours when I just wanted to go to sleep.  Made numerous calls to the police, who did drive-by’s but little else.

12:00 – 2:15 AM – Slept, until I was awakened by a text from our Office Manager indicating our building had lost power.  Said a silent prayer that I might get an extra hour of sleep in the morning.

2:15 – 2:36 AM – Slept, until my cell phone rang.  It was the police, not wanting to discuss Rakeman, but rather perturbed about Morris’ car that they had stumbled across.  We had 2 choices – come get it now, or pick it up at the tow company’s lot in the morning.  Price undisclosed.  I said tow it.  Jackass jumped out of bed and ran for his boots.

2:36AM – 3:30AM – Drove to Morris’ car, shoveled Morris’ car out of ditch, and then drove home.  Upon arrival, listened to Jackass scream at the top of his lungs over his missing wallet which was sitting on the table 2 feet away from him.

3:30 AM – 4:30 AM – Tossed and turned fitfully, certain I would not sleep again this night.

4:30 AM – 6:15AM – Miraculously, slept, until awakened by a text from a co-worker wondering if I was going to work, because of the power thing.

6:16 AM – Gave up any further attempts at sleep.

It is now 4:11 PM and I am almost blind, I’m so tired.  I anticipate having to spend another 10 minutes on the toilet tonight, sobbing.  And only 363 days till next Christmas!

My husband has two grown children (son – 40, daughter – 37), who are both married with children.  They have successful careers and families and houses.  And of course, their children are my husband’s grandkids.

There’s a long and tragic history here.  Jackass and I got together when those kids were 10 and 7.  But we have never had a relationship of any kind.  They introduce me to people as their “father’s wife”.  And their children don’t know what to call me although the oldest finally started calling me Candy recently.  More upsetting to me is that they have never tried to have a relationship with Ingrid and Morris.  My kids could have benefited from the family interaction, but the older set didn’t want to reach out and so that never happened either.  At the moment, we all just sort of coexist, all circling Jackass, the sun.  None of us like it, except for Jackass who remains convinced we are all one big happy family.

To set the following story in its proper context, I must also tell you my stepdaughter and her husband are into extreme couponing.  They have an entire basement lined with shelves where they store their loot – all the stuff they don’t necessarily need but buy because it’s on sale, and they essentially get it for next to nothing.  They have boxes upon boxes of men’s deodorant, disposable razors, toothbrushes and air fresheners, just to name a few.

Saturday, we had a Christmas brunch with them.  They were many many gifts exchanged – at least from our side.  Generous gift cards for Jackass’ kids, multiple gifts for the grandkids.  Some serious booty.

From the other side, the following gifts were distributed:

For me:  a Glade air freshener

For Ingrid:  a disposable razor

For Morris:  a deodorant

For Jackass (their father):  a toothbrush

If it wasn’t so sad, it would be hysterical.

So there’s this woman I work with.  I’ve mentioned her in many posts in the past.  She had a tragic loss of her significant other after 22 years together, and has never fully recovered.  We’ve bec0me pretty good friends over the last 5 years, and I have introduced her to all of my friends who have embraced her and we have done lots of things together as a group.

That said, it is not without drama.  We now work in the same department.  Big Mistake.  I was here first, and my boss decided she was just what we needed here, so he had her transferred to our department against my better yet silent judgment.

We had/have a habit of fighting.  Or rather, SHE has that habit.  I tend to just let stuff wash over me and don’t sweat things that people say and maybe don’t mean.  Or maybe I didn’t interpret right.  Or maybe it was in a text and I don’t even want to try to interpret it.  Not so, Workfriend.  She takes umbrage at everything, and sends me massive texts for hours on end that remind me how horrid I am and how I cannot be redeemed.

That said…she’s lots of fun (doesn’t she sound it???).  We have a great time together, and we have a lot in common, and just enough NOT in common to make things interesting.

Last weekend, she threatened in texts to kill herself due to the above despondency which never leaves her.  She then ignored all of my texts and phone calls for the next 6 hours while I worried and fretted and then, when she finally responded, said she’d been sleeping and hadn’t heard the texts.  I lost my mind and told her never to do that again, and she text-screamed at me for the next 3 hours.  She made some nasty comments about her envisioning me on Facebook telling all our “friend” how awful she was.  In desperation, I unfriended her from Facebook, and turned off the phone.

But we’re back at work, and it’s like it never happened.  It’s so very strange, I don’t know how to proceed.  On the one hand, I want her to just go away and give me back my sanity. On the other, it’s good when we’re not fighting.  And we have to work together.  It’s like being in high school all over again.

Ingrid and I are going clothes shopping today, hopefully to buy her something decent to wear to her graduation.  Which is a week from today.  She should have graduated in May of this year, but she had a problem with a class the previous semester.  She knew by December of 2011 that she wasn’t graduating in May 2012.  There was much drama.  And an equal amount of dollars to find her an apartment for the 4 months she needed it this semester, plus the actual cost of the semester.  She used her father’s illness that year as the excuse but the truth is she just didn’t do the work.  It’s one of those “I know you know, and you know I know” kinds of things.  We just don’t say it out loud.

I am cautiously optimistic about this excursion, but I know one or both of us will come home in tears.

Morris, the now 20 year old son who lives in my basement (I never thought I’d type those words in a sentence, EVER) left for work 30 minutes ago.  He works a 12 hour shift 6 days a week selling Christmas trees at the local nursery.  And beginning to realize that, while less prosperous, it is a lot less physically strenuous to just go to college already!  He made it through his Freshman year at a college in Boston, and that was enough of that.  He LOVED Boston – college and the resultant homework?  Not so much.

Jackass – well that’s still a work in progress.  He has changed a great deal since his illness.  I’ve been wanting to post more, so that story will finally come out I think.  It’s been a long while.  I miss this forum.



  • None
  • TheQueen: Yeah, perhaps next year suggest you ALL just skip the adult gifts and focus on the little ones. I'm sure you won't miss it!
  • kristabella: Yay! You're back!
  • Shania Ring: Out of all of that, the only thing in my head is 20?!? Twenty? I remember a little boy in middle school when I first started reading you. Are you SURE