Vigorous Anonymity

Archive for the ‘The Pesky Bowel and Related Insults’ Category

So thank you all for the feminine hygiene tips (yes I’m looking at you, Shania), but I think I’ve gotten that part down pat…so to speak.

Yesterday, I went to a urologist, who I shall call Dr. Luv.  First of all that’s part of his name, but my adoration goes oh so much deeper than that.

He was about 42, funny, cute and playful.  LOVE that about a doctor.  I almost don’t care if they can cure me if they’re willing to flirt with me a little.

Anyway, he looked things over (yes…all “things”) and decided this has been one long infection that hasn’t been treated well and not 3 individual recurrences.  He switched me from antibiotics to an antiseptic, which I’ve never taken orally (I’ve put it on the occasional burn but I’m guessing it’s not the same thing in cream form) and which has turned my pee a lovely shade of azure blue.  Really, you haven’t lived until you get up from the pot and glance behind to find the Caribbean Sea in your toilet.

I’ve had 2 of these pills and I feel 100% better.  The blue piss is just a plus.

He’s sending me for an ultrasound to check on the parts, because I said I hated cat-scans.  He agreed and said an ultrasound was fine.  Like I said, love the Dr. Luv.  Gave me samples of the drugs so I don’t have to buy them.  And on the way out…wait for it…told me I could drink on these pills!  WINE, come to my baby!

I’ve been dry for 3 weeks now.  I’m cranky.  My first drink will be in honor of Dr. Luv.

I’ve had a bladder infection for 6 weeks.  I’m a little testy about it…it’s irritating and painful and causing me to run through my sick/personal time like the water I can’t pass.   Pardon the pun, but it’s pissing me off.

I’ve been on 3 rounds of antibiotics, and if you know anything about me at all, it’s that I don’t do well on antibiotics.  Amazingly, all these have done is make me throw up a lot.  Hell, I’ve even lost a few pounds!  But at least I haven’t stopped breathing for any significant amount of time, so there’s that.

Basically, I stop the antibiotics and a week later it’s back.  The second time this happened, I was in so much pain and had spike a fever so high and so fast that I decided a trip to the ER was the only thing that was going to help.

And today, I am going to see a urologist.  Can I just tell you how much I am dreading this?  The official name of the practice is “Prostate Cancer and Urology Center”.  Prostate…I’m pretty sure I don’t have one of those.  So I imagining sitting in a waiting room full of squirmy men, all wondering what the hell I’m doing there.

I really don’t want to go, but I know I must.  I even decided this morning I was feeling miraculously better and maybe I wouldn’t bother.  And then I beat myself about the head and shoulders and came to my senses.  But still…don’t want to goooo!

So yeah, this whole thing is making me a little testes…er…testy.

One of the problems with restarting is that I find the need/desire to refer to old posts from the old blog, and they aren’t available.  So I’m going to repost some of them as needed.  So as to make the referencing of them easier.  Or something.

After four days of abdominal pain, I concede.  I am unable to recover from this without the benefit of antibiotics and I must now make the dreaded phone call to the gastroenterologist.

I have nothing against the man himself, mind you.  And I don’t even hate going to see him.  I just don’t feel like taking the drugs.  I’m allergic to almost every antibiotic known to man, and the remaining one I can take makes me nauseous and gives me cotton-mouth.  Oh…and I can’t drink.

The way I found out about the antibiotics was quite fun.  I’ve always been allergic to penicillin, so they gave me assorted other stuff, but about four years ago I had a horrible infection from the diverticulitis, which despite meds lasted about four months.  I resisted their efforts to cut out my colon and eventually recovered, but not without one notable trip to the emergency room.  A trip during which a nurse and a doctor conspired to kill me.

It all started the week before, when, after taking one of my antibiotics and a painkiller, then driving my kids somewhere, my hands swelled up until I thought my wedding ring was going to snap off my finger.  In a bit of panic I called the doctor, who miraculously was there, and told me to go to the store and get some Benadryl and take SEVERAL.  I did so, and the swelling (and did I mention, large purple splotches all over my face?) went away.

A week later, I had to finally succomb to their demands that I get a CAT-scan, so I went to the ER.  While there, another doctor in the practice attended me, and decided to get to the bottom of the allergic response, since it could have been the antibiotic or the painkiller.  So they hooked me up to IV and began their mad, evil experiment.  They began by pumping my arm full of Levaquin.  And then, my life passed before my eyes.

I suppose because it was in my arm, it acted faster and more violently than when I took it orally.  My arm went on fire, and then eventually I had hives and purple splotches everywhere I could see.  I hit the call button, because both doctor and nurse had abandoned me.  No one came.

I started to wheeze.  I hit the call button repeatedly.  No one came.

I stopped breathing.  I tried to scream but no one could hear me.  I kept my finger on the call button and finally someone came by (not my nurse) and then left me again to get said nurse.  After that, there was much rushing about and insertion of antihistamines in IV and oxygen applied and some talk about getting paddles ready.  I walked out on my own, but it was touch and go.  And all I wanted was a lousy CAT-scan.

Since then, I’ve gone through three other antibiotics to find I can only tolerate one.  I left the hospital with a bottle of some serious prescription Benadryl that I’ve used twice while we experimented with antibiotics.  It’s been loads of fun, really.

So…I don’t want to call the doctor today.  But I guess I hafta.



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  • TheQueen: Yeah, perhaps next year suggest you ALL just skip the adult gifts and focus on the little ones. I'm sure you won't miss it!
  • kristabella: Yay! You're back!
  • Shania Ring: Out of all of that, the only thing in my head is 20?!? Twenty? I remember a little boy in middle school when I first started reading you. Are you SURE