Vigorous Anonymity

Archive for the ‘The Soapbox’ Category

This is my first time ever not doing NoBloBlahBlah.  I’m usually such a follower, such a lemming, that I do what everyone else is doing, but this year I smartened up for just long enough to realize a person who posts once a month should not be involved in a “let’s post every day” marathon.

I’m vastly proud of myself.  The truth is, I used to set up the weekends on automatic post because I don’t ever post on the weekends, so I was always a cheater anyway.  I feel much better having gotten that off my chest

I know I have news…something must be going on in my life…I just can’t think what it is or why you’d be interested in hearing it…

I just walked into the lunch room here at the office, because one of the Vice Presidents is visiting today and when he does he orders us all pizza.  And even though I’m not hungry and I like to go out for lunch I was all FREE PIZZA! and went and had some.

I walked in and got myself a slice and started to sit down when the strains of the topic of conversation wafted my way.  The men were talking about the atrocities of the current Presidential administration (their words, not mine) and bemoaning the cost of health care reform.  One of the guys who I spar with on a constant basis saw me and shouted, “Don’t worry about the cost, Candy will pay it.”

I’ve said that to him before.  That I think it’s my responsibility as a tax-paying citizen of this country to help out my brother.  To pay extra to give everyone healthcare, so that maybe – just maybe – the cost the poor lady who works nights at the local McDonalds can afford to take her infant to the doctor for an ear infection.  I know, call me crazy.

So I laugh it off even though the prickles of annoyance are rising up my spine, and I sit down.  And then the VP who was visiting says:

“Can you believe this moron who said that thing about the mammograms?”

Direct quote.  First of all, men sitting around a lunch room talking about mammograms – color me crazy but WTF?  The reason breast cancer hasn’t been cured, IMHO, is because men don’t typically get it.  So let’s not be silly enough to think we believe that you give a damn, gentlemen.

But then the one who made the crack about me paying for healthcare reform personally said:

“Yeah, just the first taste of what healthcare will be like now that our esteemed President is in charge.”

And I said, “That’s it,” got my pizza and walked out.  There was shock.  There were gaping jaws.  And there was my dust.

I know everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I’m entitled to have a free piece of pizza without having to find room to have that shoved down my throat too.



Dear Bank::

We have loved our time with you.  It’s hard to say that about a bank, but I say it proudly.  I have even converted a few non-believers in my time as one of your customers.  You have, without question, been the most convenient of all the banks I’ve ever known.  You’re open on Sundays!  You clear all checks within 24 hours.  You’ll even cash a check for more than I have in my account…sometimes…if I get the right teller.

And then the unthinkable happened.  You merged with a “less convenient bank”.  And my world has tilted on its axis.

Gone are the quick clearing checks!  Now you hold them forever – even when they’re government checks.  Gone are the friendly tellers who just want to please and in place of them are the robots who stamp NO MONEY FOR YOU on their foreheads and decline every request.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, though, it did.  Your on-line banking system changed, and while I used to be able to see the name of every vendor presented via my debit card, now it takes you 4 days to input that info.  4 days???  Do you know the damage that can be done to someone’s checking account in 4 DAYS??

But today was the kicker.  Today is the 30th.  Today is payday.  Today is “direct deposit day”.  And yet, when I checked my balance on-line today, no direct deposit was listed.  I called your 800 number, but continuously received a “Your call cannot be completed at this time.” message.  Apparently, I wasn’t the only one dismayed!

Finally, I got through!  To the bitchiest bitch I have ever had to deal with at the bank.

Her:  “Your direct deposit will be available after 4pm.”

Me:  “But that’s unacceptable.  That’s an entire business day.  You can’t just hold onto a direct deposit for a full day.”

Her:  “You’ll have your direct deposit after 4pm.”

Me:  “4PM is too late in the day for most of the on-line bills I pay.  If I don’t pay them by 3pm they post on the next day, hence they are late!  This isn’t right!”

Her:  “Look, ma’am, we upgraded our computer systems over the weekend.  Your direct deposit will be available after 4pm.”

Me:  “Are you telling me this is a one-time thing?  Next time, it will be back to normal?”

Her:  (heaving great sigh) “Yes.”

Me:  “Well you might have told me that in the first place, instead of giving me attitude.  Can I have your name please?”

Her:  (click)

So, convenient bank, we are at a crossroads.  Either things improve or I must leave you.  I am saddened to the core.


She who doesn’t like change when it’s not for the better.

We are in the process of buying a new car.  I’m pretty excited about this one – I’ve bought a lot of cars because that’s all we could get, and while we’re still on a budget, we think we’ll be able to do a little comparison shopping this weekend and get something we actually like.  Very cool.

Jackass was looking around through our Important Papers last night and he asked me where the title was to the car we’re planning to trade in.  And I, of course, told him it’s in there with the Important Papers (comma asshole).  He looked again, and then eventually brought me the drawer housing all the Important Papers, which after I carefully combed through it did in fact NOT contain the title to that car, thus rendering me a liar!

So this morning, I called the bank through which that car was originally financed and asked them what the hell…?

This is where it gets confusing.

Two years ago, we refinanced our mortgage (yes we were one of those people responsible for the crumble of our economy), and part of the deal was that we would be required to mortgage the house up to the maximum, and pay off every other outstanding debt we had.  It sounded grand at the time!  We would only be paying the mortgage, we could do that!  And then the mortgage adjusted, and well that’s another story, never mind.

Anyway…one of the outstanding debts was the car loan for that car.  The way this works is the mortgage bank actually contacts the car bank and ask for the pay-off figure, and they then send a check directly out of the proceeds of the mortgage to the bank, thus closing that account.  That should have triggered a title being sent to us, but it didn’t.

Because the mortgage bank didn’t send them enough money.  They were $400 +/- short and so the car company paid up the loan as far as it would go, and now it’s just sitting there waiting to send us a bill at some future point when that last final month comes due.  Awesome right?

I never received a bill for it.  I never received confirmation or any correspondence saying, “Hey dopes, we have all this money but it’s NOT ENOUGH!”  And with all the other nonsense going on in my life, I completely forgot about it.

So today, they tell me the balance and I’m all OK I’ll pay! and they say, OK send us a check, and in TWO MONTHS we’ll send you the title.

Two months??  We’re buying this car in 2 DAYS!  Seriously, dudes?

I ask them how about if I put it on a credit card.  “Oh you can do that,” says Ursula the customer service rep (yes, that’s her real name).  “That will bring the time down to 45 days before we can send you the title.”


So I explain my predicament and she informs me if I Western Union her the money today, and they receive it immediately (which they should) she can get it in the mail to me Monday.  OK.  Monday I can live with.  Monday works.

Now, I don’t know about where you live, but around here, the only place to do a Western Union is the grocery store.  I have some experience with this, as I have had to send Western Unions to keep things from being taken away from me, such as houses, credit cards, cars…things like that.  And I hate, with every ounce of my being, sending Western Unions.

This is the scenario, as it happened today.  I had to go to the Courtesy Counter at the grocery store, where the Important Clerk works.  You know the one, she makes a little bit more than the Less Important Clerks who do the real work of actually checking out your groceries and putting them in bags, and so Important Clerk feels like she’s…well…important.  And she doesn’t like doing Western Unions.  Trust me on this.

She looks me up and down and determines my worth.  I was dressed nicely, in my work clothes, because I was on my lunchhour, but still, Important Clerk in her green smock judged me and found me lacking.

I told her I needed to do a Western Union Quick Collect, at which point she sighed audibly and held out her hand for the form and the cash.   She spoke not a single word to me and she frowned violently the entire time.

She finally handed me back the paperwork and again, not a word.  I very cheerfully and loudly said “Thanks!  Have a great day!”

And then I felt the need to take a shower.  I suppose anyone doing one of those Western Unions is doing it because they didn’t pay some bill and now it’s critical.  I get it.  But bitch you work in a grocery store!  Don’t judge me.

Yesterday, Damn Girl and I were discussing health care reform in the company kitchen.  (Yes, seriously.)  She and I are both avid Obama supporters, drowning amid a sea of conservative Obama-haters, and I am not using the term hate loosely here.  The devisiveness is rather sickening, but marked by terms like “Your President” instead of our President and “Mr. Obama” instead of  President Obama (which really pisses me off, and is something I’ve caught the mainstream media doing a lot).  Anyway, we were discussing health care reform in the kitchen.

It occurred to me as we were speaking that one of the reasons health care reform isn’t happening is because it’s about women and children.  Let’s face it, up until recently, if a child was sick it’s mother stayed home from work and took care of it, while Dad went to his office.  That was the status quo for decades, until more and more women became equal participators to the family income and hold bigger and better jobs.

There was no incentive thirty years ago to make healthcare available to mothers and their children.  They weren’t productive members of society.  So who really cared.  At least, that’s how I see it.  It’s sort of like breast cancer research.  Since men weren’t getting it (often) there was no urgency to cure it.

But I didn’t realize how close to the mark I was when I said that.  Today, I read this article in  If President Obama’s plan goes through, there is some explosive conversation about whether or not abortions will have to be covered.  And I can hear the cry and hew in Washington about that, all the way over here in NJ.

So there’s a huge crux of the issue.  If we offer healthcare to all, will we have to stipulate that it covers everything but the dreaded abortion?  Or will people in this country finally have to suck it up and admit they can’t force people to have children they don’t want or can’t take care of  in the name of an imaginary being.

Sorry if that was a little harsh or insensitive.  I’m sure some of you disagree with me (all 5 of you that are now reading ::snort::).  But hey, it’s my blog.


  • None
  • TheQueen: Yeah, perhaps next year suggest you ALL just skip the adult gifts and focus on the little ones. I'm sure you won't miss it!
  • kristabella: Yay! You're back!
  • Shania Ring: Out of all of that, the only thing in my head is 20?!? Twenty? I remember a little boy in middle school when I first started reading you. Are you SURE